WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN SAVE OURSELVES.
Inevitably on the path of transformation and self-actualization, there comes a moment when we feel as though we are totally alone. We long for someone to fix us, to tell us what we need to do, to share "the" secret with us and yet somehow that doesn't seem to fix things.
While this may feel like an excruciatingly lonely or frustrating time, it is actually one of the most magical, special moments on the path to awakening to your true self. For this is the moment when you get to be completely and utterly with yourself. You have the gift, the opportunity and the choice as to whether or not you will keep walking forward with yourself and ultimately develop a deeper relationship with your true self. It is critical to have support on the path - from community, teachers, healers, coaches, friends and family (biological or otherwise). And yet, none of those people can save us. We are the only ones who can truly save ourselves. We are the ones who get to choose if we will love ourselves and practice self compassion as we let ourselves emerge or if we will reside in a mindset of despair, frustration and defeat. We are the ones who decide if we will rise up from the ashes and ask for help and if we will keep moving towards our dreams when help does not arrive.
I invite you to see this moment as the biggest gift the Universe has ever given you. Seize it as your opportunity to take a stand for yourself and to commit to doing what ever it takes to actualize who you truly are in this life. I promise you that as soon as you accept that you are on this journey by yourself and for yourself, that things will shift. The right support systems and cheer leaders will emerge. The fog will begin to clear and your path to deep fulfillment, purpose, joy and authentic self expression will become illuminated step by step.
You are a perfect human being who is creative, resourceful and whole in your most natural state and at this very moment. Trust the whisper inside you. Trust your abilities. Trust that as you keep evolving you will experience the great abundance, love and magic of this world more and more. Below is one of my favorite poems by the great poet Mary Oliver. I am inspired to share it with you so that it may support you in moving forward on YOUR path no matter what.
Shine On,
Rony
The Journey
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.
~ Mary Oliver ~
 "Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life."
- Eckhart Tolle
The other day I was talking to a woman on the phone who expressed her longing to make some art. We had an entire conversation about the things she could create and how much she craved it, however when I asked her when she would do it she said: "Oh, I'm too busy with paperwork and obligations at home, I don't have the time. I have to find the time for it."
I was struck by two things. First, that she longed to engage in her creative side but wasn't making it a priority. And second, that she believed she had to find the time instead of understanding that it was her responsibility to make the time for the things she loves.
We've all done this to some extent before. I'll go running this weekend - tonight I need to finish this pile of paperwork. I'll go on vacation later in the year after my big project is complete. I'll go shopping for new clothes once I loose the ten pounds. I'll make time in my schedule for romance when I find the right person. I'll quit the corporate world to follow my dream after I make a little more money. I'll eat lunch after I finish these emails.
A COMMON OVERSIGHT
This is very common. The problem is that this is a passive approach to life. It assumes that things just happen to us or will happen if they're meant to be. It overlooks the fact that we create our own reality. I see this all the time with people and I'm guilty of forgetting this important responsibility myself at times. I talk to people on a regular basis who approach me about wanting to coach together. Many of them are ready to say YES to themselves and the life they truly want right now. I applaud them for it and I jump in with them right away. Yet many are hesitant to say YES to themselves right now. They know they want change, they know that what' they've been doing so far is not creating the level of fulfillment and excitement they want. Some have even moved on from the job, the relationship or the location that wasn't working for them. And yet, they believe that later is a better time to jump on the journey of YES to their DREAM LIFE. Later this year is a better time to engage in the personal work that will create fulfillment, empowerment, connection, purpose, joy and love. Later when I have more money. Later when I have more time. Later after I just do this one other thing. Really? The love of your life, the passion and purpose, health and energy you crave can wait until later?
A HARD TRUTH
Over time what happens is that nothing changes. The dream relationship, job, home, health, balance, etc. do not just show up. We fail to engage in making the necessary changes in our life now, so... things stay the same. Unfortunately, later never happens.
ARE YOU LETTING YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES RUN YOUR SHOW?
This cycle of being stuck where you don't want to be occurs for several reasons. The first is due to the fear of moving forward (ie "what if I fail", etc.). The second is because we think that everything has to be perfect or figured out before we can do what we truly want. Each of these reasons are separate topics that warrant their own blog posts and I will write more about them in the future. The third and major reason that most people put fulfillment off for later is because they believe that their circumstances determine how they live and what choices they get to make. People believe that they cannot afford to take a vacation, set boundaries or engage in activities that bring them joy because of family, work, money, health issues or other responsibilities. While indeed there are some circumstances that we cannot change, more often than not, we are in the drivers seat of our own lives and it is our responsibility to choose what we make a priority and what we don't. Your happiness is not waiting for you out there somewhere in the future. Your happiness is yours now and it will continue to be available in the future if you start allowing for it to exist today.
Later never comes. This is because we continue to engage in the patterns that we are involved in today. In fact, today is yesterday's later. Are you on vacation in Hawaii? Are you feeling the breeze touch your face on that afternoon walk or covered in clay in that pottery class? Are you in the relationship or job of your dreams? Most people are not. We must be intentional and make the conscious choice to prioritize pleasure in the midst of work and responsibilities. It doesn't just happen on it's own. We must create room for it, prioritize it, schedule it, pay the money for it and seize it now.
AN INVITATION
I'm not saying that you need to engage in reckless, irresponsible behavior that threatens your stability or well-being. Rather, I am inviting you engage in what you long for now. Don't wait. Do it anyways, in addition to everything else. Take a much needed short vacation this weekend. Indulge in morning meditation before you check your email or phone. Make room in your closet for your ideal lover now even though you've never met them. Pay for the class you are dying to take even though you don't know how you can afford it. I guarantee you that doing so will light a fire in you to work harder and generate the extra income you need. I guarantee you that your determination to heal your heart and find your mate will become unstoppable. I guarantee you that the joy you get from painting for 20 minutes today will give you that extra energy you need to finish the rest of your tasks around the house. That is the magic of now.
THE POWER OF ENGAGING IN THE NOW: A USEFUL TRICK & 2 SUCCESS STORIES
You can start practicing all of the above by creating what I like to call "in-between" moments. These are moments throughout the day that we insert into more structured, daily routines. You can create an "in-between" moment in the middle of a busy work day, while you are with your kids, in overwhelming social situations, anywhere. They can be as short as a deep breath and as long as a week's vacation.
To illustrate the power of this practice, I am inspired to share two client success stories. I have two clients each of whom used to power through working at their desk all day, making them tired and resentful at the end of the day. They begun practicing taking a break from their desk to get a glass of water or take a walk around the block outside to breath in fresh air. They would insert these refreshing moments "in-between" everything else they were doing. This helped them become balanced and allowed them build the muscle of engaging in the now. Over time, this muscle became so integrated into their daily life that they began to honor their dreams fully. A simple break for fresh air was no longer enough. One of these clients ended up leaving the corporate job that she didn't like and branching out on her own to become a successful and happy solo-prenuer. The other client learned invaluable lessons around creating and expressing boundaries which ultimately gave her the confidence to heal important relationships with loved ones and create deeper connections in her life. Wow - all of this from engaging in the now!
START THE REST OF YOUR LIFE NOW
One of my favorite movie quotes comes from the movie When Harry Met Sally. It is in the scene towards the end of the movie in which Harry runs across town to profess his love to Sally. He says to her: "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." I invite you to take on this attitude towards your life and your dreams. Engage in them now. Give them your attention, your time, your money and your energy in the smallest and biggest ways you can imagine. Go for it! Don't wait until later. You will be enormously grateful that you allowed yourself to experience more joy, freedom, balance, health and purpose in between all of life's other moments.
I am excited to hear what opens up for you in the now! Please share your comments and questions below.
Shine On,
Rony
When you re-invent yourself through conscious inner work and by taking responsibility for your life, things begin to shift. First there are internal shifts such as a deeper sense of inner peace, freedom or clarity and then external shifts start to take place such as meeting inspiring people who support your path or understanding how you can finally move on from that thing/person who has been holding you back. More than anything, as we begin to live in alignment with our values, the purest form of who we are begins to emerge. I experienced this first hand and continue to feel it deepening as I refine and embody my truth more over time. I see it in clients who begin to identify their core values and put themselves first, out-growing old patterns and discarding sabotaging illusions. I see it when we remove processed foods and toxins from the body and allow our body to be nourished by clean, whole foods - a pureness and power is created on a physical level. We return home to our truest selves. Life becomes rich. I am inspired to share one of my favorite poems with you that poetically describes how it feels to SEE YOURSELF, the TRUE YOU once again or maybe for the first time ever. It is called Love After Love.
Inviting all of you to feast on your life and to join me on this magical journey of living as the TRUE YOU.
Shine On,
Rony | |
LOVE AFTER LOVE
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
By Derek Walcott
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ENJOYING THE VIEW FROM THE TOP
Often as a coach, I hear people struggle with how much further they have to go until they get "there". During a process of growth and transformation it is natural to have your eye on the prize and it is critical in keeping you on the right path. Yet considering life in the context of an end result can be overwhelming and defeating. Instead of focusing on the final outcome, what if we gave ourselves permission to celebrate our successes along the way?
A WONDERFUL MOMENT ON MY PATH
Yesterday I reached my own personal pinnacle on this journey of living my truth. I had some powerful A-Ha's that brought great clarity and provided a sense of contentment as well as pride for all of the work I've done to get me to where I am today. To celebrate, I hiked to the top of Mount Tamalpais roughly 30 minutes north of San Francisco and basked in the magnificence of what it meant to "reach the top". This picture doesn't do the view justice. It was a 360 degree view of the entire San Francisco Bay, the Pacific Ocean, the mountains, the trees, the coastal fog and city's structures. It was simply breath taking to stand in nature, experience the wind in my face and feel the vastness of possibility before me. I literally felt on top of the world. I allowed myself to celebrate this moment in time.
GIVING YOURSELF A NECK CRAMP
Why is it that we forget to celebrate the little pinnacles we reach along our journey? We can become so focused on the ultimate result that we overlook the triumphs we are experiencing on a daily basis. The truth is that there is always further to go. Once we reach one peak, we are exposed to the next. Just as a baby wants to run once it has mastered walking, we too can always see the next opportunity before us. Imagine if you were hiking up a mountain this way though. If your gaze was always up, you would likely trip (or give yourself a neck cramp!). While it is critical to have a clear vision of where you are headed, it is also important to fully appreciate where you are right now.
INVITATION TO CELEBRATE
I invite you to celebrate yourself, your achievements, both big and small up until now. Celebrate all of the wonderful things in your life at this very moment. Honor the internal work you have done to become more authentic, to speak what is true for you, to risk for the sake of being happier. Pat yourself on the back for the times when you fell but got up again anyways; for the things you have outgrown, the new habits you've created and for the people you have forgiven, including yourself. Celebrate how you have changed and who you are now becoming. You don't have to wait until you are at the top of Mount Everest. We climb little mountains of magnificence every day of our lives.
ENJOYING THE VIEW AT THE TOP
Allow yourself to recognize that at this moment you are at the top of a mountain. It may not be the tallest mountain peak on earth, but it's certainly higher than where you were in the past. Bask in the glory of the view from up here. What have you overcome? What has made you stronger... or softer, more open or aware? Look out and see what's possible from here. Soak it all in. If you live in a place where you can go for a hike, I invite you to climb a small mountain to symbolize reaching your successes. Once you get to the top, take a moment to feel it all and congratulate yourself!
I'd love to hear what mountains you've climbed recently and how you are celebrating your efforts! Feel free to share your comments below.
Shine On,
Rony
 Recently in the 6-week Intuitive Wellness Workshop that I co-facilitated with holistic fitness guru Polina Smith, I introduced our workshop participants to the power of positive affirmations, especially as it relates to our health. Embodying total wellness requires that we honor all parts of ourselves - the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual elements that make us who we are. Therefore, we must closely examine our internal dialogue, thoughts, word choices, etc. as they play a POWERFUL role in creating our lives. At the forefront of the mind-body movement is world renowned metaphysical teacher and healer, Louise Hay. She is known as the queen of positive affirmations, has worked with thousands of people around the globe and has authored hundreds of books, cds, etc. providing guidance on how changing your thoughts can change your life. You can learn more about Louise Hay, her offerings and products at her website: www.louisehay.com. I am inspired to share to share some teachings from one of my favorite Louise Hay book/cd sets titled "I Can Do It: How To Use Affirmations To Change Your Life". To purchase the book visit Amazon.com or LouiseHay.com. In this book/audio series, Louise teaches us that how we think, feel and speak towards and about our bodies plays a critical role in determining our state of health. In it, she writes: "If you want to create better health in your body there are definitely some things you must not do. You must not get angry at your body for any reason. Anger is another affirmation, and it's telling your body that you hate it, or parts of it. Your cells are very aware of every thought you have. Think of your body as a servant that's working as hard as it can to keep you in perfect health no matter how you treat it. You'll never create good health by talking or thinking about your illness. Good health comes from love and appreciation. You want to put as much love into your body as you possibly can. Talk to it and stroke it in loving ways. If there's a part of your body that's ailing or dis-eased, then you want to treat it as you would a sick little child. Tell it how much you love it, and that you're doing everything you can to help it get well quickly." Here are some positive affirmations from Louise that you can begin to recite to yourself daily to shift the power of your thoughts. I invite you to say them aloud to yourself. Doing so in front of the mirror can be especially transformative. "I enjoy the foods that are best for my body. I love every cell of my body."
"I look forward to a healthy old age because I take loving care of my body now."
"I am constantly discovering new ways to improve my health."
"I return my body to optimal health by giving it what it needs on every level."
"Healing happens! I get my mind out of the way and allow the intelligence of my body to do its healing work naturally."
"My body is always doing its best to create perfect health."
"I am grateful to be alive today. It is my joy and pleasure to live another wonderful day."
"Perfect health is my divine right and I claim it now."
"I am willing to ask for help when I need it. I always choose the health professional who is just right for my needs."Below is the audio version of these affirmations. If you are in a healing process, this track may help you realize how your negative thoughts and words are impacting your dis-ease state. You may begin to see how important your emotional/mental mindset is towards healing. Take a listen and let me know what you think. If you like what you hear, then please honor Louise Hay by purchasing the book/cd. It is packed with wonderful tips about all areas of life, health being just one of them. We create our lives by the thoughts, words and actions that we choose. Remember your innate power to heal and your body's infinite wisdom. Shine On, Rony
THE BIG TURNING OF 2012: EMBODYING YOUR TRUTH AND SHINING YOUR LIGHT  I learn as much from my clients as they do from me. Today one of my clients inspired me to write about something I believe in deeply: embodying our truth and shining our light.
According to the Mayan Calendar, 2012 has long been regarded as the year the world would end. Many of us however are experiencing something substantially more uplifting than the apocalypse. We are feeling a larger calling to a greater way of being. We are feeling the energy of this year already as alive, illuminated, important and palpable. We are ready to take a stand, express ourselves, up the anti, trust the Universe and simply allow our access to Spirit to move through us.
Last year brought economic distress, natural disaster and upheaval. The global uprisings and Occupy movements of 2011 proved that as a people we are ready for change. We have begun to shed layers that no longer serve the human race or our planet. The decay and destruction of some of our most fundamental systems is making room for the light to emerge and for change to come. This light is what we feel. This greater way of being is the whisper we are hearing and are beginning to follow. The spiritual communities and gurus are referring to 2012 as "The Great Turning". It is our time to become who we are truly meant to be. It is our time to choose love over fear. It is our time to give energy to positive thoughts and dialogue over gossip and victim mentality. It is our time to honor the earth, return to nature's cycles and our body's intuitive wisdom as our ultimate guides on this journey.
By allowing ourselves to become conscious, aware and still we are able to hear our inner truth. By allowing ourselves to act and speak authentically and lovingly, our truth begins to emerge and create a ripple effect. By letting our light shine we contribute to the greater, glorious, inexplainable cosmic light and life force energy of our Universe. We become carriers of this light.
As 2012 begins, I invite you to let your light shine. I invite you to take responsibility for the perspective you choose to hold about your circumstances. I invite you to speak honestly and act authentically. I invite you to risk and shed what no longer serves you. I invite you to love yourself and open to vulnerability. The potential greatness of our world depends on you doing this. By shining your light you give others permission to the same and you contribute to the global, human, Universal positive change that is occurring.
In closing, I'd like to share one of my favorite quotes with you. May it inspire you and may your light shine gloriously bright over the course of this year and beyond!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson
I welcome your comments.
Shine On,
Rony
"Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice and most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition; they somehow already know what you truly want to become.”
- Steve Jobs
With the untimely passing of a great legend, this video came my way today and I am inspired to share it with you. Growing up in the Bay Area, coming from a high-tech family and working in a creative field for many years, Steve Jobs has long served as a familiar image of innovation, creativity and possibility to me. However watching this speech today with the ears of a coach for the first time, I heard some poignant reminders about the power of surrender, living in alignment with one's truth and the perspective that compromised health can bring. This video touches on some imperative fundamentals to living a healthy, happy life that we often take for granted or bypass when we get caught up in the day-to-day grind. My key take-a-ways are below. I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments about it too!
* We live life FORWARD and understand it BACKWARDSEven if you do not yet see the fruits of your labor, trust that the choices you make from a place of heart and curiosity will lead you to fulfillment and success. How can you trust the process of life more today? What if you took a risk that you long to take and just trusted that the safety net would arrive after you jumped?
* Do what you LOVE
What if every choice we made was based upon the things that truly lit us up? Who would you spend time with? What would you put your energy towards? What ideas would come to life?
* Follow your HEART and INTUITION; LIVE EACH DAY like it was your last
More often than not, we already have the answers inside of us. Sometimes we are too scared to listen because it might rock the boat or create change for us or the people around us. Our heart and intuition whisper reminders of our greatness to us and encourage us to rise up and meet our full potential.
I hope you found this video as inspirational as I did.
Shine on,
Rony
To kick-off my blog, I am inspired to share one of my favorite poems titled “The Invitation”. This poem calls on us to be our greatest selves. It calls upon us to be true, courageous, vulnerable, willing, stead-fast and fully alive. My intention for this blog is to provide information and inspiration that will help you choose to be fully alive – physically, emotionally and energetically. My dream is to share my story and my experience so that you and others may remember that we can create the health and life of our dreams by choosing over and over and over again to do so. This poem invites us to choose. This poem invites us to be bold, to look deep within and express our juiciest, most authentic, vibrant, human selves with our world. I look forward to sharing the journey with you. Shine On, Rony ************************************************************************************************************************  “The Invitation“
By Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Canadian Teacher and Author
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets
are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched
the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."
It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
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