ARE YOU AT THE FRONT OF YOUR OWN LINE
OR IN BACK BEHIND EVERYONE ELSE?
Recently, I was asked to share my story of transformation. On the surface, it is a story of physical healing and the basic emotional growth that takes place when one undergoes a physical healing process. On a deeper level and at it's core, my story is actually one of putting myself first and adopting Self Love. It is a story of seizing the life I knew I was meant to have, of taking back control of my destiny and learning to love myself first and always.
When my clients first start working with me, some of them desire a quick fix and a plan to get from A to Z. Many people want me to tell them what to do. While we can create the most comprehensive "plan", it is irrelevant if you aren't willing or ready to put your dreams first and take the steps to make them a reality for yourself. You can go to healers, coaches, gurus, enlightened teachers and mentors. But if you aren't willing to love yourself through the transformative process then the healing and growth won't occur. Only you can evolve yourself.
Each of us is worth it. Each of us deserves all the good in the world and each of us can conquer those obstacles that feel insurmountable. The trick to following your transformative path begins with SELF LOVE. It starts with putting yourself and your dreams FIRST, even though it might be scary.
PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST. NOT KIND OF FIRST. REALLY FIRST.
In my own story, I realized that in order to heal my body and create the life that I TRULY wanted, I had to put myself first. I mean really first - before EVERYONE and EVERYTHING else that I knew. EVERYONE and EVERYTHING: My clients who provided my income. My sister who was going through a life-altering divorce at the exact same time that my health issues hit and needed my support. My parents who needed me to explain my symptoms. My girlfriends who needed a friend to listen. My work community that required me to network regularly to remain successful. My social plans that kept my calendar full and exciting. The men who wanted to date the fun, outgoing version of me that I no longer resonated with being.
I had to put myself and my dream life first. The real me. The me that always knew I was destined for greatness. The me that knew I would marry the right partner. The me that came here to fulfill a purpose and make an impact. The me that at that time resided in a body that was struggling with relentless fatigue, digestive and immune issues. The me that needed time out to rest and recharge.
Putting myself first required great honesty with myself. First I had to admit that I actually had needs. Then I had to swallow the fact that if I didn't address these needs that my health and life would suffer. I would remain in a mediocre place of life being good rather than glorious. Then I needed to accept my needs as valid and I had to practice not judging myself for having needs. Then I needed to communicate these needs and boundaries to other people. I had to learn to receive support from people. And finally (and most importantly), I had to let go of needing to please everyone else. I had to let go of needing to be perfect. I had to let go of the fear that others would be un-fixably disappointed or damaged if I put myself first.
AFRAID OF BEING SELFISH
Many people, especially women, are afraid to put themselves first. Society labels this as "selfish". We are fed the story that in order to be generous, kind, loving and connected to our loved ones, we must be self less. There is a common fear that we will disappoint others if we tell them no or not right now, if we put our own needs first. We are so afraid that others will be mad at us if we do what makes us happy, if we speak our truth, if we have boundaries and practice self love. We are so afraid of what we might loose by putting ourselves first that we don't even consider how we actually feel or what we truly want in the first place.
The problem with this is that it keeps us from becoming our full, true selves. We become tired, resentful, lazy, needy and unable to give to others the way they actually deserve. However when we put ourselves first and voice our needs, it allows us to recharge our tanks, to be happy and full. From that place our capacity for others increases exponentially and we can actually give generously and thoughtfully.
WE GAIN MORE THAN WE LOOSE
At first it can feel counter-intuitive to put yourself first but over time you'll gain so much more than you're afraid of loosing. I have a client who was focused on being a good provider to his family. His initial assumption was that he couldn't properly provide for them if he followed his dream career so he remained stuck in mediocracy until he couldn't take it any longer. As we worked on developing and actualizing his dreams over time, he began to see how much more he provided for his family once he was aligned with his life's purpose and making that a priority in his life. Not only was he able to provide financially for his family, but he became a wiser, calmer, more supportive and engaged husband and father. That is priceless!
Personally, by putting myself first, I gained my dream life. Seriously. Looking back, I now laugh at what I was afraid to loose because those things are so out of alignment with my truth and dreams. They were simply familiar and that's why I was afraid to let them go. Turns out that I didn't love my old career and when I chose instead to follow my passion, I finally became deeply fulfilled and financially successful. Turns out that the honest, difficult conversations between my sister and I served as an opportunity to share ourselves fully and become very close and accepting of one another. Turns out that some of my old acquaintances and colleagues didn't interest me to begin with and when I admitted that I was finally able to create deeper connections with others. Turns out that the men I was afraid to disappoint by being the real me weren't actually conscious or grounded enough to be potential life partners for me anyways. They certainly didn't embody the qualities that my life partner so naturally does. Wow! Wow! See how much can open up for you when you start putting yourself first?
WHAT DO YOU NEED?
So, what do you need to be honest with yourself about? What needs do you have that are begging for your attention? What type of self care are you in need of? What might you gain if you put yourself and your dreams first? What tanks might fill up by taking the risk to make putting yourself first a priority?
Consider this: how might your genuine capacity and generosity for others expand if your tanks were actually full, if you truly came alive by putting yourself first?
PUT YOUR OXYGEN MASK ON FIRST
Putting yourself first is an act of self love and a generous, loving act towards others. It creates room for inspiration and ideas as well as energy to execute on them. It creates space to listen and hear others' opinions. It creates capacity to make a positive impact on others. Putting yourself first doesn't mean ignoring your children, your partner, your friends or clients. It means that you respect yourself enough to love yourself as much as you love them. It means that you prioritize showing up as the best version of yourself for them. It means enforcing boundaries so that you can tend to your own needs in addition to tending to others. Self love is an act of surrendering to our true selves and to our basic needs. It is an act of open-ness and receiving support from the right people on our journey.
Think about the emergency precautions speech that is given every time you take a flight. We are reminded to put our oxygen mask on first before putting it on someone else in need. Here are a few tricks to help you start putting yourself first so you can be happy, aligned and positively generous with others.
1. LISTEN TO THE WHISPER.
Honor your inner whisper by giving it your full attention and promising to follow it. Often times it is a very quiet voice inside that tells to us what we need or what feels right. Practice listening to that voice and identifying what you truly need in any given situation.
2. SPEAK UP.
Once we identify our needs, we must learn to communicate them. Otherwise change won't happen. Practice speaking your truth completely honestly and saying no when you need to. No doesn't mean never, it more likely means just not right now. Be grateful when declining invitations or setting boundaries. Let people know that you will be happy to oblige once your tanks are refueled. Answer questions truthfully, take a risk to say what you really think or feel. Ask for help. See what opens up for you.
3. SMALL DOSES WORK WONDERS.
Often times people won't put themselves first because they believe they don't have the time. I see this with mothers who over extend themselves regularly. People believe that they don't have time to rest, paint, sing, go for a walk or take a break. That's simply not true! Feel free to read my article on how you must make the time for pleasure HERE. A simple 5 - 15 minutes can make all the difference. Sit in your car for 5 minutes and meditate before picking up your kids. Paint for 10 minutes before you head out the door. Take a 15 minute power nap. Walk around the block. It is unrealistic to wait for everything to be perfect before putting yourself first.
I invite you to take the risk of putting yourself first. See if you can do so in the most loving way to yourself and others. See what tanks of yours become full and how your capacity for others increases by doing so.
Please share your comments! I would love to hear what shifts for you once you allow yourself yourself to step to the front of the line. Enjoy!
Shine On,
Rony
WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN SAVE OURSELVES.
Inevitably on the path of transformation and self-actualization, there comes a moment when we feel as though we are totally alone. We long for someone to fix us, to tell us what we need to do, to share "the" secret with us and yet somehow that doesn't seem to fix things.
While this may feel like an excruciatingly lonely or frustrating time, it is actually one of the most magical, special moments on the path to awakening to your true self. For this is the moment when you get to be completely and utterly with yourself. You have the gift, the opportunity and the choice as to whether or not you will keep walking forward with yourself and ultimately develop a deeper relationship with your true self. It is critical to have support on the path - from community, teachers, healers, coaches, friends and family (biological or otherwise). And yet, none of those people can save us. We are the only ones who can truly save ourselves. We are the ones who get to choose if we will love ourselves and practice self compassion as we let ourselves emerge or if we will reside in a mindset of despair, frustration and defeat. We are the ones who decide if we will rise up from the ashes and ask for help and if we will keep moving towards our dreams when help does not arrive.
I invite you to see this moment as the biggest gift the Universe has ever given you. Seize it as your opportunity to take a stand for yourself and to commit to doing what ever it takes to actualize who you truly are in this life. I promise you that as soon as you accept that you are on this journey by yourself and for yourself, that things will shift. The right support systems and cheer leaders will emerge. The fog will begin to clear and your path to deep fulfillment, purpose, joy and authentic self expression will become illuminated step by step.
You are a perfect human being who is creative, resourceful and whole in your most natural state and at this very moment. Trust the whisper inside you. Trust your abilities. Trust that as you keep evolving you will experience the great abundance, love and magic of this world more and more. Below is one of my favorite poems by the great poet Mary Oliver. I am inspired to share it with you so that it may support you in moving forward on YOUR path no matter what.
Shine On,
Rony
The Journey
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.
~ Mary Oliver ~
 "Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life."
- Eckhart Tolle
The other day I was talking to a woman on the phone who expressed her longing to make some art. We had an entire conversation about the things she could create and how much she craved it, however when I asked her when she would do it she said: "Oh, I'm too busy with paperwork and obligations at home, I don't have the time. I have to find the time for it."
I was struck by two things. First, that she longed to engage in her creative side but wasn't making it a priority. And second, that she believed she had to find the time instead of understanding that it was her responsibility to make the time for the things she loves.
We've all done this to some extent before. I'll go running this weekend - tonight I need to finish this pile of paperwork. I'll go on vacation later in the year after my big project is complete. I'll go shopping for new clothes once I loose the ten pounds. I'll make time in my schedule for romance when I find the right person. I'll quit the corporate world to follow my dream after I make a little more money. I'll eat lunch after I finish these emails.
A COMMON OVERSIGHT
This is very common. The problem is that this is a passive approach to life. It assumes that things just happen to us or will happen if they're meant to be. It overlooks the fact that we create our own reality. I see this all the time with people and I'm guilty of forgetting this important responsibility myself at times. I talk to people on a regular basis who approach me about wanting to coach together. Many of them are ready to say YES to themselves and the life they truly want right now. I applaud them for it and I jump in with them right away. Yet many are hesitant to say YES to themselves right now. They know they want change, they know that what' they've been doing so far is not creating the level of fulfillment and excitement they want. Some have even moved on from the job, the relationship or the location that wasn't working for them. And yet, they believe that later is a better time to jump on the journey of YES to their DREAM LIFE. Later this year is a better time to engage in the personal work that will create fulfillment, empowerment, connection, purpose, joy and love. Later when I have more money. Later when I have more time. Later after I just do this one other thing. Really? The love of your life, the passion and purpose, health and energy you crave can wait until later?
A HARD TRUTH
Over time what happens is that nothing changes. The dream relationship, job, home, health, balance, etc. do not just show up. We fail to engage in making the necessary changes in our life now, so... things stay the same. Unfortunately, later never happens.
ARE YOU LETTING YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES RUN YOUR SHOW?
This cycle of being stuck where you don't want to be occurs for several reasons. The first is due to the fear of moving forward (ie "what if I fail", etc.). The second is because we think that everything has to be perfect or figured out before we can do what we truly want. Each of these reasons are separate topics that warrant their own blog posts and I will write more about them in the future. The third and major reason that most people put fulfillment off for later is because they believe that their circumstances determine how they live and what choices they get to make. People believe that they cannot afford to take a vacation, set boundaries or engage in activities that bring them joy because of family, work, money, health issues or other responsibilities. While indeed there are some circumstances that we cannot change, more often than not, we are in the drivers seat of our own lives and it is our responsibility to choose what we make a priority and what we don't. Your happiness is not waiting for you out there somewhere in the future. Your happiness is yours now and it will continue to be available in the future if you start allowing for it to exist today.
Later never comes. This is because we continue to engage in the patterns that we are involved in today. In fact, today is yesterday's later. Are you on vacation in Hawaii? Are you feeling the breeze touch your face on that afternoon walk or covered in clay in that pottery class? Are you in the relationship or job of your dreams? Most people are not. We must be intentional and make the conscious choice to prioritize pleasure in the midst of work and responsibilities. It doesn't just happen on it's own. We must create room for it, prioritize it, schedule it, pay the money for it and seize it now.
AN INVITATION
I'm not saying that you need to engage in reckless, irresponsible behavior that threatens your stability or well-being. Rather, I am inviting you engage in what you long for now. Don't wait. Do it anyways, in addition to everything else. Take a much needed short vacation this weekend. Indulge in morning meditation before you check your email or phone. Make room in your closet for your ideal lover now even though you've never met them. Pay for the class you are dying to take even though you don't know how you can afford it. I guarantee you that doing so will light a fire in you to work harder and generate the extra income you need. I guarantee you that your determination to heal your heart and find your mate will become unstoppable. I guarantee you that the joy you get from painting for 20 minutes today will give you that extra energy you need to finish the rest of your tasks around the house. That is the magic of now.
THE POWER OF ENGAGING IN THE NOW: A USEFUL TRICK & 2 SUCCESS STORIES
You can start practicing all of the above by creating what I like to call "in-between" moments. These are moments throughout the day that we insert into more structured, daily routines. You can create an "in-between" moment in the middle of a busy work day, while you are with your kids, in overwhelming social situations, anywhere. They can be as short as a deep breath and as long as a week's vacation.
To illustrate the power of this practice, I am inspired to share two client success stories. I have two clients each of whom used to power through working at their desk all day, making them tired and resentful at the end of the day. They begun practicing taking a break from their desk to get a glass of water or take a walk around the block outside to breath in fresh air. They would insert these refreshing moments "in-between" everything else they were doing. This helped them become balanced and allowed them build the muscle of engaging in the now. Over time, this muscle became so integrated into their daily life that they began to honor their dreams fully. A simple break for fresh air was no longer enough. One of these clients ended up leaving the corporate job that she didn't like and branching out on her own to become a successful and happy solo-prenuer. The other client learned invaluable lessons around creating and expressing boundaries which ultimately gave her the confidence to heal important relationships with loved ones and create deeper connections in her life. Wow - all of this from engaging in the now!
START THE REST OF YOUR LIFE NOW
One of my favorite movie quotes comes from the movie When Harry Met Sally. It is in the scene towards the end of the movie in which Harry runs across town to profess his love to Sally. He says to her: "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." I invite you to take on this attitude towards your life and your dreams. Engage in them now. Give them your attention, your time, your money and your energy in the smallest and biggest ways you can imagine. Go for it! Don't wait until later. You will be enormously grateful that you allowed yourself to experience more joy, freedom, balance, health and purpose in between all of life's other moments.
I am excited to hear what opens up for you in the now! Please share your comments and questions below.
Shine On,
Rony
When you re-invent yourself through conscious inner work and by taking responsibility for your life, things begin to shift. First there are internal shifts such as a deeper sense of inner peace, freedom or clarity and then external shifts start to take place such as meeting inspiring people who support your path or understanding how you can finally move on from that thing/person who has been holding you back. More than anything, as we begin to live in alignment with our values, the purest form of who we are begins to emerge. I experienced this first hand and continue to feel it deepening as I refine and embody my truth more over time. I see it in clients who begin to identify their core values and put themselves first, out-growing old patterns and discarding sabotaging illusions. I see it when we remove processed foods and toxins from the body and allow our body to be nourished by clean, whole foods - a pureness and power is created on a physical level. We return home to our truest selves. Life becomes rich. I am inspired to share one of my favorite poems with you that poetically describes how it feels to SEE YOURSELF, the TRUE YOU once again or maybe for the first time ever. It is called Love After Love.
Inviting all of you to feast on your life and to join me on this magical journey of living as the TRUE YOU.
Shine On,
Rony | |
LOVE AFTER LOVE
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
By Derek Walcott
|
 WHAT DOES YOUR DREAM LIFE LOOK LIKE?In our society we tend to throw around the phrase "life of your dreams" pretty casually, to the point where it has become cliche and quite cheesy. But think about those words for a moment: Life Of Your Dreams. Wow. What if you could really live a life so truly rewarding that it felt like you were living your dreams over and over again? What if you could actually have boundless energy, vibrant health, deep fulfillment, inner peace, money, love and purpose? Many think this is unrealistic. I'm here to assure you that it is absolutely possible to create this and then some.
THE QUESTIONAre your decisions helping you live the life of your dreams or are they holding you hostage in your own self-imposed prison? The choices we make greatly affect the life we live. This seems obvious, yet most of us don't realize the power that we have to create the life we truly want. When we have vision around who we want to become and start choosing in alignment with that then everything changes. Where do you currently reside? MY STORYSeveral years ago, I thought that good enough was as good as it got. I thought that because I excelled at my career, worked hard, had fun and made good money that I was on track. I thought that because I was thin and worked out regularly that I was healthy. I thought that one day my husband would appear so long as I cast a net wide enough to catch him. My life was good. And yet, it wasn't my DREAM LIFE. Something felt off deep down inside. I was over-extended and tired, my job lacked meaning and I was stuck on the perpetual dating treadmill. I wasn't living on purpose. I wasn't realizing the ripple effect of my choices in terms of how they were building my life and future. It wasn't until I experienced some powerful wake-up calls in the form of major body-wide health breakdowns that I began to see the role I was playing in living a wonderful, mediocre life. As I began to work with coaches and healers, I was able to identify what my ultimate life and health truly consisted of. I clearly defined my dream life and realized that I could create it, slowly but surely. I explored what it truly meant to be a woman who embodied total wellness. I got clear about what I wanted to contribute in my life's work and experience in a loving partnership. DREAMING BIGWhen we allow ourselves to dream big it helps us expand beyond our current situation. It allows us to see how we can take responsibility for our lives and what we have to change in order to have something different. If we don't change how we are choosing throughout the day, then things simply won't change. We will remain stuck in a self-imposed prison. As Albert Einstein said: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". In order to get different results, we must understand where we'd like to go and make choices that will take us there. It might be scary, but change is required if we want something more. So.... What does YOUR DREAM LIFE look like? If you had all the money in the world; if you knew you could not fail; if anything were possible; if your health was fantastic, who would you be? How would you act? What would you be doing with your body, your money, your energy, your love, your purpose and career? What would you express and contribute? How would you spend your free time? Who would be supporting you? Where would you be doing all of this and why? I encourage you to become very clear on your answers to these questions. Play with it, dive into it, get curious and be bold. Stretch your imagination further than you think is possible. DREAM REALLY BIG. REALLY REALLY BIG. THE GOLDEN KEYBecome clear on this vision of your Future Self and then.... here is the golden key to your success.... start choosing as if you were your Future Self now. I'll say that again: Start choosing as if you were your Future Self at this very moment. For example: if your Future Self is 40 pounds thinner, confident and enjoying yoga regularly then what choices would that person make when faced with a donut today? How would that person be spending their time today? How often would that person be doing yoga this week? What would that person trust about themselves in this very moment? What would their posture be like throughout the day? How would they communicate? After envisioning, we must get into action in order to create a change. We must become our dream selves now if we want to move forward in the direction of creating our dreams. You can even choose your response to this Dream Big exercise. Are you going to allow yourself to criticize and punish yourself for not living your dream life now? Or are you going to choose to be inspired and simply make a different choice today that will propel you towards your vision? HELPFUL TIPPost a reminder note on your bathroom mirror where you will see it every day. This note should remind you to choose in alignment with your future self. For example: * As a woman who embodies total wellness, I choose to: _______________________ * As a triathlete who spends his free time exercising outdoors, I choose to: _________________________ * As a woman who loves herself deeply and therefore attracts in a loving mate, I choose to: ________________________ * As a man who is working in a profession that he loves, I choose to: ______________________________ * As a retired man who travels the world with his wife, I choose to: ___________________________ In my Individual Coaching programs we work on refining who your Future Self is, what your dream life entails and how you can create it in a supported, empowered way. Contact me to learn more about how coaching can help you to change your life. Dreaming BIG can only help us. What hurts us is when we remain too entangled in fear and worry to act on turning our dreams a reality one choice at a time. I invite you to take the leap of faith and see what happens! Your dream life is waiting for you and it's worth going for it! I welcome your comments and invite you to share some fun facts about who your Future Self is! Shine on, Rony
THE BIG TURNING OF 2012: EMBODYING YOUR TRUTH AND SHINING YOUR LIGHT  I learn as much from my clients as they do from me. Today one of my clients inspired me to write about something I believe in deeply: embodying our truth and shining our light.
According to the Mayan Calendar, 2012 has long been regarded as the year the world would end. Many of us however are experiencing something substantially more uplifting than the apocalypse. We are feeling a larger calling to a greater way of being. We are feeling the energy of this year already as alive, illuminated, important and palpable. We are ready to take a stand, express ourselves, up the anti, trust the Universe and simply allow our access to Spirit to move through us.
Last year brought economic distress, natural disaster and upheaval. The global uprisings and Occupy movements of 2011 proved that as a people we are ready for change. We have begun to shed layers that no longer serve the human race or our planet. The decay and destruction of some of our most fundamental systems is making room for the light to emerge and for change to come. This light is what we feel. This greater way of being is the whisper we are hearing and are beginning to follow. The spiritual communities and gurus are referring to 2012 as "The Great Turning". It is our time to become who we are truly meant to be. It is our time to choose love over fear. It is our time to give energy to positive thoughts and dialogue over gossip and victim mentality. It is our time to honor the earth, return to nature's cycles and our body's intuitive wisdom as our ultimate guides on this journey.
By allowing ourselves to become conscious, aware and still we are able to hear our inner truth. By allowing ourselves to act and speak authentically and lovingly, our truth begins to emerge and create a ripple effect. By letting our light shine we contribute to the greater, glorious, inexplainable cosmic light and life force energy of our Universe. We become carriers of this light.
As 2012 begins, I invite you to let your light shine. I invite you to take responsibility for the perspective you choose to hold about your circumstances. I invite you to speak honestly and act authentically. I invite you to risk and shed what no longer serves you. I invite you to love yourself and open to vulnerability. The potential greatness of our world depends on you doing this. By shining your light you give others permission to the same and you contribute to the global, human, Universal positive change that is occurring.
In closing, I'd like to share one of my favorite quotes with you. May it inspire you and may your light shine gloriously bright over the course of this year and beyond!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson
I welcome your comments.
Shine On,
Rony
A NEW WAY TO EXPERIENCE THE HOLIDAYS
The holidays can be a time of stress, family tension and over-eating for many of us. While we cherish time spent with relatives and friends, enjoy traditional foods and leaving town for a few days, typically, the holidays are laden with travel tension, family tension, little personal time and lots of over-eating that leaves many of us feeling bloated, frustrated and regretting our choices. It is as if we let all of our conscious choice making fly out the window in order to fully experience the holidays. We opt for complete indulgence during the holiday season knowing that January will come soon enough to get us back on track.
What if we could indulge, connect and relax while feeling empowered, conscious and proud of ourselves? What if we could spend the holidays totally fulfilled AND in a way that continued our self-growth, fostered our health and forward movement towards our larger goals?
WHAT IF YOUR HIGHEST SELF CAME TO THANKSGIVING?
THE OLD STORY
Many of us have created stories that promote being stuck in a limited place of false beliefs. We convince ourselves that the following is true. See if any of these statements are things you’ve told yourself before:
* I won’t really enjoy the party if I stick to my diet.
* To truly obtain a feeling of indulgence and relaxation, I have to let go of everything I’m working on.
* My family members won’t understand me if I show up as my Highest Self.
* I will be alone if I truly embody and express my truth.
* Traveling is stressful.
* The holidays are stressful and depleting, I have to please everyone else.
Newsflash: It is all illusion!! These are stories that you have created from a part of you that is experiencing fear – fear that you can’t have it all, a scarcity mentality, a lack of trust. Open yourself to creating a new story.
THE NEW STORY
What does it feel like to experience fun, meaning, yummy-ness or love in a way that honors your highest self; in a way that values your vision for the best you? You’ve felt it before. See if you can remember a time when:
* You showed up at the social event and opted for veggies over chips.
* You went to dinner and only had one glass of wine or none at all despite funny looks from others at your table.
* You were in a loving relationship and spoke up about what you needed even thought it might have been scary.
* You were with your family and stayed centered in your truth, even for a few moments.
* You found some moments of peace in the midst of chaos.
* You realized that you are creating your own chaos and chose to shift to a more centered, trusting mindset.
How did that feel? Were you able to experience the fun, connection, love, and indulgence without loosing yourself completely? I bet you were!
What is your NEW STORY? Try shifting to an “AND Mentality”. Fill this sentence in as many times as you need to:
I can __________________________ AND __________________________.
Ex: I can feel connected to my family and be myself. I can indulge and stick to eating healthy.
HIGHEST SELF HOLIDAY TIPS
1. Visualization & Intention
Take a few moments to visualize how your ideal holiday would feel. Really allow yourself to feel it. What would your interactions with family and friends be like? How would you navigate moments of overwhelm? How would you feel in your body? How much quiet time for yourself away from the action would you have and what would it entail? What foods would you enjoy? What would it feel like to take responsibility for feeling nourished, loved and happy? Now set intention around this. Take 10 minutes to write your intention in your journal, focusing on what you intend to experience and create.
2. Create a Self Care Contract
Create a contract with yourself that you can look at each morning to remind yourself of your intention. I take 10 minutes to write my Self Care Contracts on the plane whenever I travel somewhere. It can be simple. For example:
I, Rony Gerzberg, in honor of experiencing my Highest Self in every experience, hereby promise to myself the following on this trip:
1. I will take 5 minutes every morning to meditate, even if it’s in the bathroom. I know that this creates relaxation, clarity, breathing room and purpose for me.
2. I will practice being loving with myself and others, remembering that this is a meaningful time of year with lots to be grateful for.
3. When others comment on how my diet is so healthy and different, I will remember not take it personally and I will kindly fill them in on how I eat/live so that we may have an opportunity to feel more connected. I will see it as an opportunity to honor my truth.
4. I will exercise once over the long holiday weekend.
You get the idea. Remind yourself of the payoff for each item. I.e., that it will allow you to feel alive, grateful, handling your basic needs, etc.
3. Practice The Rule of 80/20
Stick to your path 80% of the time and don’t worry about sticking to it 20% of the time. In other words, 80% of the time, eat the foods that heal your body, practice speaking authentically, or caring for yourself first. Then 20% of the time, indulge – treat yourself to the cheesecake, zone out from being present and give to others instead of yourself. The 80/20 Rule is wonderful to practice any time we are in a process of healing, self-growth or on the path of living our truth. During the holidays, which are a particularly fun and special time, modifying the rule to 70/30 is equally beneficial. Bottom Line: try to be conscious most of the time while giving yourself a break and allowing yourself indulge and relax!
4. Pause and Breath
Before choosing the extra serving that will send you into a food coma, pause and take a breath. Before compromising yourself for the sake of going along with the group dynamic, pause and take a breath. Before disappearing into the black hole of stress and overwhelm, pause and take a breath. Then choose. It doesn’t always work, but sometimes it does J.
5. Be Curious and Playful
Get curious around your Highest Self. Allow yourself to have fun with noticing when it’s easy for you to choose consciously and when you get triggered. Being present and conscious is not about being perfect! It is about simply honoring the parts of us that we love and are growing as often as we remember to do so, and doing so in a loving, open-minded and joyous way.
6. Dare To Be Proud Come January
What if you really could make choices that would have you experience the best holiday season possible? Allow yourself to experience the major payoff of empowered choices! Take a risk this holiday season and try it out. How good will you feel on the other side of the holidays? I can guarantee you’ll feel proud of yourself, confident, more in love with your body and more in love with your family, friends and community! I invite you to create a conscious holiday season for yourself and see how it sets you up strong, proud and ready to meet January on the right foot!
There is so much to be grateful for this holiday season. There is an abundance of healthy, seasonal food at your fingertips. There is no shortage of love all around and within. And there is plenty of opportunity to practice engaging the muscles of your Highest Self!
Here is to a healthy, happy and fun Thanksgiving with your Highest Self!
Shine on,
Rony
 WE HAVE A PRIMAL ABILITY TO MAKE SOUND.
WHAT IF YOU FREED YOUR VOICE TO FULLY EXPRESS YOURSELF?At this time of the Occupy Movements and general upheaval around the globe, it is clear that people long to use their voices to express themselves and claim their power. In my own journey of self-actualization, I practice using my voice to express my truth, my passions and to release those parts of myself that no longer serve me. One of the most exciting ways I do this is through Sound Healing. Sound Healing is the art of using sound, both through drums, bells, tuning forks or other external sound-making objects as well as using your own voice to move stuck energy in the body. It is both powerful and gentle, and is an incredible modality to heal physical, emotional and energetic imbalances. Similar to the acupuncture needles used in Traditional Chinese Medicine, Sound Healing utilizes the vibration of sound to create and move energy throughout the physical and energetic bodies. It is regarded as a proven, scientific healing modality and is becoming more popular these days. It is a safe, liberating way to really seize the power of your voice. So what is so special about exercising our voice? I didn’t quite realize this until I began to use mine. In the past, I've enjoyed singing and had taken some vocal lessons, however it wasn’t until I started using my voice as a healing instrument as well as a vehicle to voice my true needs, beliefs and feelings, that I began to grasp just what making sound can do. Making sound is not about sounding good or hitting the right notes of a song. It is not about performing for others. Making sound is PRIMAL. It is a basic human faculty and an innate part of our species. Sound is something that comes out of us from the first breaths that we draw upon when entering this world. Think how fiercely a baby can wail - full of power and resolve. Think of what uproarious laughter, cheering or whispering sounds like. Making sound can be anything from breathing, humming, singing, grunting, screaming, speaking or any other noise we can omit. It creates vibration and resonance. It can be gentle or fierce. It can come from the depths of who we are. Yet in our society we are embarrassed of making noise. We fear saying the wrong thing, being rude, speaking at the wrong time, sounding bad if we sing or being inappropriate if we release primal sounds from our bellies in order to heal. When I first engaged in sound healing I would practice making different sounds that would acknowledge certain parts of my body that I was healing, such as my liver, intestines, etc., and I would balance my chakras (energy centers in the body) by practicing sound scales. I remember writing an email to my neighbors to let them know what I was doing so they wouldn’t worry and think a cat was dying in my apartment or something! I was so embarrassed! When I started taking voice lessons and joined a band, I used to sing in my bathroom with the door closed so no one would hear me – I felt incredibly self-conscious using my FULL voice. Over time, I grew to understand how freeing and healing it is for me to open my voice and I now joyously LET IT OUT regardless of who might hear. Perhaps it will even inspire someone as they walk by! More so, I began to realize how important it was for me to reclaim my own personal power through voicing my needs, feelings and beliefs to others - both verbally and in writing. It is incredibly empowering to speak your truth. What do you REALLY want to say to people? There are many useful ways to use sound and when relevant, I utilize some of these techniques with my health and life-coaching clients as well as in the group workshops that I lead. Contact me to find out more. Here are a few exercises to help get you started using sound for your own benefit: * DEEP LISTENING & EXPRESSION * Take a quiet moment and tune into yourself. Turn off your phone and computer and just listen. What do you hear? Start by listening to what you hear outside. Take mental note of all the different sounds. What do you hear in front of you? Behind you? To your right and left? What does your breath sound like? Now shift your focus inward. Start by focusing on your breath and tune out the thoughts that cross your mind. If you have a thought, just let it pass. Very slowly, scan your body starting at your head and working your way down to your throat, chest, abdomen, hips, thighs, calves, ankles and toes. What do you hear? How are you feeling physically and emotionally? What parts of you are tired? In pain? Scared? Happy? What sounds could you make to represent how you feel? What do you need/long to express? Take a moment and sit with all of it. Listen to your intuition. You can journal about your experience if you like. Now make some noise! Scream into a pillow or release a glorious sound of pride. Hum a gentle note. Recite a mantra or affirmation out loud to yourself. Tell someone how you really feel. It’s safe. * CHAKRA BALANCING SCALES * Each of the seven chakras (energy centers) of the body has a corresponding sound. The lowest, root chakra found at your sit bones, can be represented and balanced by making a lowwww, vibrating sound. Take a moment and try making the lowest humming sound you can make. (Ummmmmmm) Now shift the focus to your seventh chakra, or crown chakra on the top of your head, by making a very high pitched, squeaky sound. What is the highest sound that you can make? (Eeeeeeee) The chakras can all be balanced by practicing scales. Start with the lowest note, focusing on your sit bones/hips and slowly move your focus up, through your sexual organs, abdomen, heart, throat, etc. aiming for the top of your head. Simultaneously, as you move up your body, slowly make your tone higher and higher until you reach your highest note at the top of your head. Then reverse it. See where you get stuck or are not fluid. That will inform you where you might be holding onto some stuck energy in your body. You can use sound to move through that and keep practicing the scales until they are fluid. This can be incredibly grounding, rejuvenating and healing! * GROUNDING YOUR ENERGY * If you have a lot on your mind, especially before you go to sleep, practice making the lowest sound you can make and shift your focus down towards your feet. This will shift your vibration and help get you out of your head. So…. What do you need to express? What does it sound like? What would happen if it were totally safe for you to use your voice fully? What would you tell people if you had the courage to speak honestly and lovingly? Tune in. Listen. And let it out - Wildly. Lovingly. Freely. Authentically. May you sing your song proudly and march to the beat of your own drum! Shine on, Rony
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