BY SAYING "NO" TO ONE THING, 
                     WE SAY "YES" TO ANOTHER

Most everybody I speak to struggles with enforcing boundaries in their life or putting their own needs first.  In an effort to go with the flow, keep the peace, make a good living, be in a relationship, etc. many people opt to keep the status quo instead of going for their dreams.  There is a fear of upsetting other people, disappointing them, inconveniencing others, failing or not being understood.  So, we suffer.  We remain stuck in the mediocracy of life feeling overwhelmed, settling for good enough instead of phenomenal and becoming resentful and burnt out.  

This is no way to live.  Yet many of us are all too familiar with what it's like when we are afraid to say no to others.  More so, many of us are familiar with what it's like to feel stuck in a job, relationship, social circles, etc. that simply don't fulfill us.  Have you ever been afraid to leave the familiarity of your unsatisfying relationship out of fear that a better guy/gal won't come along?  Have you ever been afraid to leave the golden handcuffs of your corporate job out of fear that your dream career might leave you penniless?  Living this way is allowing fear to dominate your life.  It simply won't work long term. 

STUCK IN FEAR'S GRIP
As long as you are afraid to let go of the things that no longer serve you because you fear something better might not come along, you will remain stuck.  In essence, you will be committing to the very things you don't want.  For example, if you are saying yes to continually working non stop, you are essentially saying no to having time for yourself or having time for a loving, balanced relationship.  If you are saying yes to being taken advantage of, you are essentially saying no to participating in empowered, respectful relationships with others.  While saying NO can be scary and uncomfortable, it is imperative to say NO to those people and things that no longer serve you if you want to live a happy, fulfilled, purposeful and healthy life.  

CONSIDER A REFRAME
I'd like to offer a reframe on saying NO.  Consider that every time you say NO to one thing, you are effectively saying YES to something else.  Think about saying NO as a new way to say YES to what you're truly after.  For example:  When you say NO to wearing a skirt, you are saying YES to wearing pants.  When you say NO to processed foods, you are saying YES to increased energy, vitality and overall well-being.  Here are some powerful examples to consider:

* When you say NO to settling for crumbs in your relationship, you are saying YES to committing to TRUE, authentic partnership in which you can be loved, adored, honored and respected.  

* When you say NO more to feeling suffocated by your lucrative 9-5 job that bores you to death, you are saying YES to living in alignment with your true purpose and calling.  You are saying YES to having an impact in the world simply by being happy and offering your value from that place.

* When you say NO to being last on your list of priorities, you are saying YES to filling up your tanks so that you can actually be present and generous around family, friends and co-workers.  

* When you say NO to over-giving to family and friends, you are saying YES to being respected by others and to creating important balance and structure in your life.  

* When you say NO to speaking dishonestly out of fear of disappointing others, you are saying YES to expressing yourself truthfully therefore creating the opportunity for deep understanding, appreciation and growth in your relationships.  

* When you say NO to going to every social engagement you are invited to because you are too tired, you are saying YES to resting your body and giving yourself the downtime or breathing room you need.

READY TO SAY YES?
So.... what and who are you ready to say NO to?  More importantly, what are you ready to SAY YES to?  This is your life.  This is your time.  In order to be truly happy and healthy the way you long to be, you must be willing to SAY YES to your ultimate life.  YES to who you really are.  YES to the abundance, love, connection, freedom, authenticity and purpose you desire.  You must be willing to take the risk of saying NO. 

I invite you to take a risk TODAY and say NO to something that is no longer serving you.  It is no one else's fault.  People take advantage of us because we allow them to.  Our lives become tedious and meaningless because we let them get this way.  This world needs you to come alive.  This world needs you to start saying YES to YOU by saying NO to others.  There simply is no more room for settling.

NO IS ACTUALLY A GIFT
Saying NO does not have to be mean or rude.  You can politely say no to someone's offer by saying "No, thank you".  Or, "Thank you so much for thinking of me.  It doesn't fit with my schedule but I appreciate the offer."  Saying NO to social plans so that you can restore your tanks creates a version of you that will have greater capacity and compassion for others.  Our world will be positively impacted by the version of you who has boundaries.  For it is this version of you that will simply and graciously demand respect from others.  It is this version of you who inspire others by serving as an example of someone who practices self care, boundaries, generosity and appreciation of others.  Begin to notice how saying NO is actually a gift to the people around you and to our world.  Notice how you show up when you are actually happy and at full capacity to generously engage with others.  Notice your productivity levels and your compassion.  

NO APOLOGIES
You do not need to apologize for saying no or give numerous reasons that justify your "NO"-ness to others.  Simply practice saying NO as gently and graciously as you can.  Practice with the waiter who offers you more water when you don't want any.  Simply say: "No, thank you".  Practice with the person who wants to schedule something at a time that is inconvenient for you.  Simply say: "I'd love to get together however that time doesn't work.  These are the times that work for me".  See what opens up for you.

THIS IS A BIG DEAL
This is a big deal.  In our society we are trained that NO is a bad thing.  We get really good at saying YES to everything, even those things we don't want.  This is especially true for women.  When I learned to say NO it changed my life.  It freed me up to heal my body, find my life's purpose, recognize the love of my life and deepen my relationships with family and friends.  It allowed me to clear out all of those things that were weighing me down and to create tremendous joy and freedom in my life that I am truly grateful for.  

I invite you to do the same.  Please share what you are ready to SAY NO and YES to in the comments area.  Let's start a movement!  Let's SAY YES by saying NO! I very much look forward to hearing what you're ready for and to supporting you on your journey towards living your ultimate life.  You deserve it.

Shine On,
Rony

When you re-invent yourself through conscious inner work and by taking responsibility for your life, things begin to shift.  First there are internal shifts such as a deeper sense of inner peace, freedom or clarity and then external shifts start to take place such as meeting inspiring people who support your path or understanding how you can finally move on from that thing/person who has been holding you back.  More than anything, as we begin to live in alignment with our values, the purest form of who we are begins to emerge.  I experienced this first hand and continue to feel it deepening as I refine and embody my truth more over time.  I see it in clients who begin to identify their core values and put themselves first, out-growing old patterns and discarding sabotaging illusions.  I see it when we remove processed foods and toxins from the body and allow our body to be nourished by clean, whole foods - a pureness and power is created on a physical level.  We return home to our truest selves.  Life becomes rich.  I am inspired to share one of my favorite poems with you that poetically describes how it feels to SEE YOURSELF, the TRUE YOU once again or maybe for the first time ever.  It is called Love After Love.  

Inviting all of you to feast on your life and to join me on this magical journey of living as the TRUE YOU.

Shine On,
Rony

Valentines Day.... the holiday of LOVE.  The holiday that celebrates lovebirds, chocolate, roses and relationship.  For some this is a dreaded holiday where the mindset of comparison and lack suffocate any potentially positive experiences.  For others, it is a time to truly be grateful for the precious, bountiful love shared with another and to celebrate the blessing of romantic partnership through expressing love.

As we experience the LOVE holiday today, I am intrigued to explore another important avenue of love; quite possibly the most important loving relationship we will ever have: the one with ourselves.  What if we took all of the energy that is funneled into Valentine's Day and focused it on loving ourselves more?  

What if we gave ourselves permission to practice SELF LOVE as much as we practice loving others?

WHAT IS SELF LOVE?
Self love is at the heart of all growth and healing.  It is at the core of human potential.  For when self love is cultivated and allowed to blossom, the stage is set for experiencing the fullness of life and for extending natural, generous love towards others.  We heal ourselves and therefore the planet through self love.  It is our love for ourselves that inspires a desire for a better experience of our bodies and our lives.  It is love of self that has us take responsibility for ourselves, motivates change and fortifies our commitment to our dreams, resiliency and joy.  It is love of self that whispers to us to move beyond our self-sabotaging patterns and limiting beliefs and to choose instead the route that is in the best interest of everyone involved.  It is self love that serves as the spring-board towards shedding our old identity and EMBODYING our new one.  

Self love means loving yourself even in comparison to others.  Self love means having self respect and enforcing boundaries that cultivate your highest good.  Self love means having the courage to put yourself first, even though you are afraid others may be disappointed, so that you can refuel your tanks and actually increase your capacity for others.  Self love means accepting all of who you are - the good, the bad, the radiant and the not so radiant parts of your body and your personality.  Self love means identifying your core values and then going out and actually living your life in alignment with those things that are most important to you.  It means seeing self care as generous, not selfish.  Self love means spending time with those people who support you and light you up and having the courage to gently let go of those relationships that are toxic and draining to you.  

WHAT DOES SELF-LOVE CREATE?
When our self-love tanks become full, we begin to heal - emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.  We begin to develop the graceful ability to sit with all of who we are and be whole.  From there we become vulnerable, brave, loving and open.  Life becomes juicy.  Others now enhance our internal happiness as opposed to being the false source of happiness that we cling to.  When we consciously fill our self-love tanks, we begin to build the muscle of positivity, attractiveness, alignment, inner peace and authentic empowerment.  We develop courage, compassion, freedom and fulfillment.  It is like tending to the soil of a great tree.  When we water and nurture the soil, the roots will be vibrant, the trunk will grow strong and the leaves will come alive with brilliant colors of green and red.

So on this holiday dedicated to love, I ask you:  How can you love yourself more?  What would your love-life look like if you loved yourself too?  How can you fill your self-love tanks?

Here are some TIPS for creating more self-love in your life:

MIRROR EXERCISE
Stand in front of the mirror (preferably naked!) and take a look at yourself.  You may notice some critical thoughts enter your mind immediately about your body.  If you need to, spend 30 seconds being critical.  Get it out of the way.  Then.... take a couple of long, deep breaths.  Look into your own eyes and proclaim out loud to yourself:  "I love you.  I really love you.".  You may repeat this a few times if you like.  Then begin to shower your body with love.  Speak lovingly to each part of your body that you see.  Say out loud: "I love you eyes".  "I love you ears; thank you for letting me hear such beautiful, loving statements".  "I love you arms, you are strong".  "I love you thighs, you are feminine and sultry".  Notice what shifts.  Do this every day for 3 weeks and see what changes for you.

LOVE LIST
Take a blank piece of paper and for 10 minutes write down all the things that you love about yourself.  They can be significant or tiny.  See if you can reach up to 20 things or more.  For example:  I love that I love my family.  I love my dorky sense of humor.  I love my ability to fix things around the house.  I love my voice.  I love my willingness to try new things.  

LOVE IN ACTION
What is 1 new way that you can demonstrate self love today?  Perhaps it is through speaking authentically or standing up for yourself.  Perhaps you can open up to someone and practice being vulnerable.  Maybe you can treat yourself to a rejuvenating night at home with an epsom salt bath and a good movie.  Practice building your muscle of self love in daily life and see what opens up for you in your life.  

Our world needs the version of you that is practicing self love.  Your children need it, your spouse needs it, your friends and family need it.  The people who you are going to inspire need it.  Give yourself permission to become whole by loving your self more.  Practice loving others and receiving love on this special day from the place of fullness that self-love brings.  May your love cup spillith over.  

Here's to love!  May it flow deeply through you and may it help your light shine bright.

I'd love to hear your comments.  What do you love about yourself?

Shine on,
Rony

             WHAT DOES YOUR DREAM LIFE LOOK LIKE?

In our society we tend to throw around the phrase "life of your dreams" pretty casually, to the point where it has become cliche and quite cheesy.  But think about those words for a moment:  Life Of Your Dreams.  Wow.  What if you could really live a life so truly rewarding that it felt like you were living your dreams over and over again?  What if you could actually have boundless energy, vibrant health, deep fulfillment, inner peace, money, love and purpose?  Many think this is unrealistic.  I'm here to assure you that it is absolutely possible to create this and then some.

THE QUESTION
Are your decisions helping you live the life of your dreams or are they holding you hostage in your own self-imposed prison?  The choices we make greatly affect the life we live.  This seems obvious, yet most of us don't realize the power that we have to create the life we truly want.  When we have vision around who we want to become and start choosing in alignment with that then everything changes.  Where do you currently reside?

MY STORY
Several years ago, I thought that good enough was as good as it got.  I thought that because I excelled at my career, worked hard, had fun and made good money that I was on track.  I thought that because I was thin and worked out regularly that I was healthy.  I thought that one day my husband would appear so long as I cast a net wide enough to catch him.  My life was good.  And yet, it wasn't my DREAM LIFE.  Something felt off deep down inside.  I was over-extended and tired, my job lacked meaning and I was stuck on the perpetual dating treadmill.  I wasn't living on purpose.  I wasn't realizing the ripple effect of my choices in terms of how they were building my life and future.

It wasn't until I experienced some powerful wake-up calls in the form of major body-wide health breakdowns that I began to see the role I was playing in living a wonderful, mediocre life.  As I began to work with coaches and healers, I was able to identify what my ultimate life and health truly consisted of.  I clearly defined my dream life and realized that I could create it, slowly but surely.  I explored what it truly meant to be a woman who embodied total wellness.  I got clear about what I wanted to contribute in my life's work and experience in a loving partnership.  

DREAMING BIG
When we allow ourselves to dream big it helps us expand beyond our current situation.  It allows us to see how we can take responsibility for our lives and what we have to change in order to have something different.  If we don't change how we are choosing throughout the day, then things simply won't change.  We will remain stuck in a self-imposed prison.  As Albert Einstein said: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results".  In order to get different results, we must understand where we'd like to go and make choices that will take us there.  It might be scary, but change is required if we want something more.

So.... What does YOUR DREAM LIFE look like?  If you had all the money in the world; if you knew you could not fail; if anything were possible; if your health was fantastic, who would you be?  How would you act?  What would you be doing with your body, your money, your energy, your love, your purpose and career?  What would you express and contribute?  How would you spend your free time?  Who would be supporting you?  Where would you be doing all of this and why?

I encourage you to become very clear on your answers to these questions.  Play with it, dive into it, get curious and be bold.  Stretch your imagination further than you think is possible.  DREAM REALLY BIG.  REALLY REALLY BIG.  

THE GOLDEN KEY
Become clear on this vision of your Future Self and then.... here is the golden key to your success.... start choosing as if you were your Future Self now.  I'll say that again:  Start choosing as if you were your Future Self at this very moment.  For example: if your Future Self is 40 pounds thinner, confident and enjoying yoga regularly then what choices would that person make when faced with a donut today?  How would that person be spending their time today?  How often would that person be doing yoga this week?  What would that person trust about themselves in this very moment?  What would their posture be like throughout the day?  How would they communicate?  After envisioning, we must get into action in order to create a change.  We must become our dream selves now if we want to move forward in the direction of creating our dreams.  

You can even choose your response to this Dream Big exercise.  Are you going to allow yourself to criticize and punish yourself for not living your dream life now?  Or are you going to choose to be inspired and simply make a different choice today that will propel you towards your vision?

HELPFUL TIP
Post a reminder note on your bathroom mirror where you will see it every day.  This note should remind you to choose in alignment with your future self.  For example:
* As a woman who embodies total wellness, I choose to: _______________________
* As a triathlete who spends his free time exercising outdoors, I choose to: _________________________
* As a woman who loves herself deeply and therefore attracts in a loving mate, I choose to: ________________________
* As a man who is working in a profession that he loves, I choose to: ______________________________
* As a retired man who travels the world with his wife, I choose to: ___________________________

In my Individual Coaching programs we work on refining who your Future Self is, what your dream life entails and how you can create it in a supported, empowered way.  Contact me to learn more about how coaching can help you to change your life.  

Dreaming BIG can only help us.  What hurts us is when we remain too entangled in fear and worry to act on turning our dreams a reality one choice at a time.  I invite you to take the leap of faith and see what happens!  Your dream life is waiting for you and it's worth going for it!

I welcome your comments and invite you to share some fun facts about who your Future Self is!  

Shine on,
Rony

HOW TO MAKE LIVING HEALTHY REALISTIC, AUTHENTIC & FUN LONG TERM

Did you know that approximately 80% of people do not succeed at implementing their New Year's resolution after just one month?  What does it take to truly integrate your goals and have success over time?  What are some of the lesser known secrets towards creating optimal health long term?

In this 40 minute interview with Polina Smith of WholeBody Talk Radio, Rony uncovers 5 essential tips towards creating optimal health in 2012 and beyond.  

At the end of the interview, Rony & Polina reveal a special promotion for you to receive $30 off the registration price of the Intuitive Wellness workshop which begins January 18th in San Francisco!

For all the details of the Intuitive Wellness Workshop, click HERE.
To learn more about Polina Smith and MyWhole Body, click HERE.